[ Wear it for what it is, he says. It's a more difficult command than it sounds, because grief isn't some summer dress you wear, light and easy on the eyes. Grief is-- she thinks it's iron shackles on one's ankles and an unbearable burden on one's shoulders always. Always. It crushes you down and makes you stumble over every little thing and yet you keep on walking. Because it's expected of you. Because there's no other option.

She wonders if death would be kinder and the thought frightens her. A Contractor's single goal is survival, isn't it? What does that make her? ]

You could have lied to me. Told me it gets easier. That one day I'll forget.

[ Amber lifts her eyes to meet his, her own meant to be stoic and vacant yet still betraying her pain. She can't hide it. ]

"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine somehow."

[ Hei said it. Or perhaps she said it to him first only to hear him repeat it to her. It's hard to tell sometimes. They mimic each other like mirrors, forever trying to understand each other by miming the other's words and actions, as if that's the only way they know to grow closer, to feel how the other feels. ]